The next story will be vampires. I am going to ride the sexy bandwagon until the wheels fall off it.

I’ve actually got a plot this time. I always have to decide what kind of story I want to tell – not what sex acts I want to include, although that’s usually fun, but it’s more important that I thrash out all that other stuff first. I need to know the big picture before I get into the fine details of what body parts go where.

It’s the problem of porn with plot, again. The porn almost writes itself, in my admittedly limited experience. It’s getting all the plot to work that bugs me, especially when I’m writing a sexy vampire story in a vague homage to Twilight. I have an outline that bears no resemblance to Twilight, and now I have to shove a vampire into it. I might have to boost this one to two weeks to get it somewhat working.

Hah, I’m essentially going to try to make something Twilight-esque good in only two weeks. And add sex into it. If the end result doesn’t look like it belongs on, I will eat my various hats.

(Just FYI, you need to slap me if I ever use the word ‘perfect’ to refer to either of the main characters.)


I don’t know if you noticed

…but I spend a lot of boring, boring time on buses.

I still think that the other people around me can tell. It’s like I have a sign on my head saying SEX SEX SEX and they’re just being polite and saying nothing.

Yes, this is my neuroses talking. I get it. Writers are at least partly nuts and most of us know it.

So, on to the next story. I figure some weird and probably very stupid riff on Twilight will keep me riding the sexy bandwagon. Vampires I can do, obviously, but forget about the sparkling – I have too much self-respect for that.

I think another blowjob is in order. Gotta have that whole sucking metaphor…