In sickness

One thing that stops me from writing, more than anything else, is being sick. Lately it feels like I’ve been sick a lot.

I’m trying to improve that. I’ve been working on my health – exercise, good eating, that kind of thing – and sometimes I almost feel completely normal for a while. But it doesn’t last.

These days, I regret not taking care of myself when I was younger. Such is the way of things, I suppose.

Today, my stomach is sore. I’ve eaten something that doesn’t agree with me, and it hurts. Maybe it’s gas. Maybe it’s something else. It’s probably gas though.

I’m debating whether I should just try eating vegan for a while, to see if that helps me. I don’t know how my body will react to that. I’ve managed to stop caffeine for almost a week, and the net result is that I’m sleeping so much better it’s amazing. But going vegan? That would be difficult. Perhaps being a vegetarian would work instead. I’m afraid of the inevitable vitamin B12 issues.

More on that later.

//shay

I didn’t post yesterday

I feel so bad. I was pretty sick – and damn, I’m getting so tired of being sick – but I still feel bad. I really do want to post every day. I need to get into doing that consistently, so that I get used to writing again.

I still have a fanfiction that I need to finish. And you don’t even know the guilt I feel about that… I feel horrible, leaving something unfinished. Stories have to be finished. There has to be an ending, even if it’s not the best ending. It just needs to end, like having closure.

All this bullshit with politics has derailed me. I’m afraid for a lot of people in the US, and it’s stopping me from doing much of anything. Even this – whatever these posts are – are mostly stream of consciousness.

Mostly what’s in my consciousness is being sick, though.

Still, we persevere. We endure. I will write, even if the White House is occupied by an orange-faced man-child and his Nazi handler.

//shay