I mean, being sick and having to deal with the constant barrage of nonsense coming out of the White House and the racists infecting it just isn’t easy. It wears me down. It turns me into the ugliest version of myself.
If I may vent for a moment…
I will not call them ‘alt-right’. I will not be party to such a comfortable delusion. I’ve heard what Bannon, Spencer and Yiannopoulos have to say, and it is all utterly vile, and completely without merit. They are racists, sexists, and seem to revel in rank bigotry of the worst kind, as if they’re in a competition to win medals for hurting people.
I am disgusted by the conservative movement in the US. Yes, yes, ‘not all conservatives’, but enough. Enough that they are all tarred with the same brush. Enough conservative leaders endorsed Trump. Enough rank-and-file members did nothing but sit on their hands and say ‘give him a chance’, after he said openly that all Mexicans are rapists. Enough Republicans who hide from the people they supposedly represent, showing the worst kind of cowardice.
I get so, so angry.
I read of people dismissing illegal immigrants, throwing out words soaked in xenophobia and bile, and I think: how dare they call themselves Christian? How dare they spill their hatred all over the Internet, and still believe themselves to be good people? Then and there do I know the value of their supposed faith, and it is meaningless. Empty words. They show themselves to be callous, selfish, and unworthy of respect.
Fake news. Paid protestors. There are no leaks – no, wait, there are leaks but they’re false. We never talked to Russia before the election. The press is the enemy of the state. It was the biggest inauguration crowd ever. Remember what happened at Bowling Green.
Lies upon lies. Lies easily disproven. But Trump supporters believe, because he offers them easy, thoughtless hatred of the Other.
I fear for the vulnerable among us. I fear, not for what Trump will do (and even still it will be horrible), but for what his supporters now think is allowed or condoned by the government. The hatred bubbles to the surface. It draws a gun and shoots brown people. It attacks trans people who just want to use the bathroom in peace. It assaults women, because the commander-in-chief thinks ‘grabbing them by the pussy’ is okay.
I wish I could feel something for those who voted for Trump and have no idea of how much damage he has done, and what he will still do. What the Republicans will do. But I just can’t. I have no emotional strength left, especially not for people who listened to the demented word salad spilling out of Trump and thought he, a cut-rate, morally bankrupt con-man with no redeeming qualities who treats other people as objects, was a better choice than a career politician who did nothing worse than be imperfect.
Do you know that? Clinton was not perfect. She made mistakes. By and large, she tried to do what she believed would help the most people, and if she had to play the game of politics to get things done, she did.
But she didn’t offer easy hatred. She had no simple, soundbite answers, no mindless platitudes. She had miles and miles of dry, carefully thought-out policy documents.
I have no doubt that the Russians influenced the election and handed it to Trump. But they would never have succeeded if there did not exist a very large part of America that is still steeped in bigotry, that despised the fact that there was a black man in the White House, that wanted nothing but easy answers and blanket permission to hate.
I’m so tired of this knowledge. I wish the world was better than it is.