Oh wait, you thought I was serious? ALLOW ME TO LAUGH EVEN HARDER.
Sorry, but Cosmo’s been trolling you yet again, my friends. Consider this: do you have rules for friendships? Do you have rules for interactions with your co-workers? How about with your family?
Then why would you have a set of rules governing dating on the level of ‘if they don’t text back immediately, they’re not interested’?
C’mon, be serious. Some people’s idea of a fantastic first date is spending all night indoors playing co-op Halo on Xbox. Other people prefer dancing. Or movie night. Then, afterwards, some people like to wait until the second or third date to jump in the sack, and some other people don’t even want to have dinner before breaking out the condoms and lube.
The point is that Cosmo is full of shit when it lays down these rules. Look, the only rules you have to follow are the ones that come with a criminal record if you break them. For dating, you are allowed to do whatever seems like a good idea as long as all involved are enthusiastically consenting to it.
Difficult it ain’t.
So here’s my advice – once you find someone you like, figure out a thing that both of you like to do, and ask that person to come do it with you. If they say yes, great! Repeat until maximum levels of fun have been attained. Then politely inquire as to the probability of sexy times in the near future. If they say no, at least you still have a friend who you can have fun with, and who may help you find other people that you like who will also want to engage in sexy times with you.
If this sounds simple, it’s because it is. It hasn’t failed for me yet.