I think I’ve already established two things: (a) this blog is NSFW, and (b) I have very little shame. So, with that in mind, here’s a list! Of PEOPLE!
More specifically, this is a list of Famous Non-Fictional People I Would Bonk Like A Wild Animal, Preferably All At The Same Time.
What? I want to share. And there’s been a distinct lack of interesting sexytimes posts here. I promised more sexytimes, and I WILL deliver. Anyway – the List!
- Jon Stewart. Because hot damn, for a guy who just turned fifty, he’s walking talking sexy gnnnaaaahhhhh I waaaaant.
- Chris Hemsworth. He has fine abs and a nice butt. I would do filthy, filthy things to that butt.
- Dita von Teese. Yes, the burlesque dancer. Look her up. Now check out her routine in the martini glass. Guh…
- Annie Lennox. She’s a singer, was big in the 80’s (am I showing my age?) and her voice makes significant parts of me go twang.
- Christina Hendricks. Because of booooobs, mmmmm.
Somehow I’m blanking on more.
See, my big problem is that the vast majority of famous actors and actresses, for example, are conventionally attractive. And to me, that means mostly boring. I like Chris Hemsworth because, let’s be honest here, he was major eye candy in Thor and I totally appreciate that. But my major weakness – big, chubby guys with muscles, preferably hairy, or hourglass-shaped women with bouncy breasts – tend to not get a whole lot of screen time. I keep asking myself, why are these guys all so goddamn chiseled? And why are all these actresses so skinny and practically clones of each other?
I’m sure I’ll think of more.
So what does this prove? Mostly that I have some crazy-ass taste, yo. And I am totally okay with this, for all that my list is short.
This’d be one hell of an orgy…