I talk a lot about masks. I wrote a story about one. This idea of revealing our true selves through hiding our actual identities is just fascinating to me. I love the concept of simply dropping the labels on which we hang our day to day world, and taking up a single identifier as our own. It lets us be free. It lets me be unfettered.
So, here’s a thing you didn’t know about me that no one else knows: I think in stories. The stories I hear, the stories of my own life, the stories people tell me. And I can’t help rewriting those stories in my head; what if this, what if that, playing out a million possibilities and, if I’m in a particular mood, all involving sex.
The endings always depend on my current state of mind. If I’m angry, they turn out violent. If I’m happy, they turn out like an after-school special. If I’m horny, well, you get the idea.
This is probably why I find porn so relentlessly boring. I need something to tell the story. I need a starting point to latch on to. If the story is very bad – or if it isn’t there at all – then it is… nothing. Hollow. Meaningless.
We know ourselves through stories. Giving yourself a new name, a new identifier – that’s starting a new story, separate from the one we already live in, and it can hold just about anything we want it to. That’s kinda attractive, when you think about it, if your usual story forces you into a particular role.
Kathy’s World is still free, I think. I can’t figure out when the promo will end, so go grab a copy now if you haven’t got one already. I sometimes wish my own story was as interesting as the ones I dream up. I’m gonna go read some erotica I snapped up this morning.