What if Twilight…

…was actually a good love story?

No seriously, hear me out. It’s not half as terrible as I think it is, in terms of the plot – the execution is just so woeful it’d make a strong man cry. So it begs the question: what could make Twilight good?

Let me count the ways… You’d have to give Bella a personality. No, I mean a human personality, silly. What she has right now does resemble a personality, yes, but it would probably count as normal for a space alien.

Dial the stupid descriptions right the hell down. We don’t need to know that Edward is perfect in every damn scene he’s in.

More emotional connections, less physical prose.

Give Bella a brain. No really, she’s made out as being smart and still acts stupid for no reason. If she’s actually intelligent, make her intelligent with some kind of consistency.

Make Edward actually remorseful about how screwed up he is. Make him angry about being a vampire. Hell, make Bella his last connection to his humanity, and build his love for her on that.

Make Bella feel sorry for him, and see him as vulnerable and imperfect in spite of his looks. Let her come to love him out of a desire to help him, not because he’s hot.

Of course, that’s just for starters…


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